NLT Proverbs 31:25-29
” She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future. She speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her. There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all! Charm is deceptive and beauty does not last, but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.”
Wow, these words are enough! As moms, we often find ourselves lost in the whirlwind of household chores, managing the kids’ activities, maintaining schedules, juggling appointments, and caring for everyone in the home. It’s a delicate dance that leaves little room for our own needs. In the day that we live in now, we as women are most often expected to rise early, pack lunches with creativity, start the laundry while keeping an eye on the clock, fix breakfast that balances nutrition, do the dishes that seem to multiply, and plan the meals for the week ahead, all while diligently shepherding the morning and evening routines. We are utterly exhausted! You see, she didn’t choose to have that child or children alone; it takes two. Or if you’re part of a blended family, it still requires two people coming together to create one big family unit filled with love and sometimes chaos. Our roles as women are not for the weak; they demand resilience, strength, and multitasking prowess. Once we get into the same routine day after day, week after week, we transition from thriving to merely surviving, navigating each day with the hope that tomorrow might be easier. A Proverbs 31 woman pays attention to everything in her home, keeping track of the grocery list, ensuring the cleaning supplies are stocked, and if you have more than one daughter in your home, you also monitor the bathroom supplies to avoid those all-too-common last-minute runs to the store. A Proverbs 31 woman is not lazy, even if she appears to have everything under control on the outside; but who is there to take care of her on the inside? Who is praising her and keeping her motivated, who is pausing just for a moment to embrace her with a tight, loving hug? Who is recognizing her unwavering will to keep pushing through exhaustion, who is pouring into her the love that she often forgets to prioritize amidst the chaos? If no one is stepping up to do this, that’s a serious problem. Her daily routine then morphs into a mere exercise of survival. She transforms her motivation into survival tactics and channels her emotions into sheer endurance because, in her mind, nothing will get done if she doesn’t take charge. It’s not shameful to aspire to be a Proverbs 31 woman; in fact, it’s profoundly empowering to desire that, as scripture says, reminding us that our worth and capabilities extend far beyond the confines of our daily tasks. We need to honor ourselves, seek support, and empower each other to thrive, ensuring we are not just surviving but flourishing in the beauty of our roles.
“She is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future.” This is so very true in the form that a Proverbs 31 woman embodies resilience and determination, gracefully managing the multitude of tasks that life presents. She possesses a dignity that not only upholds her modesty but also enhances her self-presentation, standing as a beacon of grace and integrity. Her eyes remain steadfastly focused on her husband, nurturing their bond with unwavering loyalty and love, confident that her future is blessed with promise with something even greater. This deep-rooted sense of dignity grants her worth and purpose in her life, allowing her to navigate challenges with poise while holding firmly to her cherished values. She inspires those around her, becoming a role model who demonstrates that true strength lies not only in what one accomplishes but also in how one carries oneself with humility and grace through every season of life. Her laughter echoes with hope, serving as a reminder that strength and dignity can coexist beautifully, painting an inspiring portrait of a woman who embraces her journey with open arms, ready to conquer whatever comes her way.
But let’s not confuse all of this with the need for control. When the need for control overpowers and blinds us from the importance of self-control, we often find ourselves in a precarious situation. The insatiable desire for dominance can create a relentless spiral, pushing us into a state of survival mode where instincts take precedence over rational thought. Once survival takes over, it becomes incredibly hard to see beyond the immediate reaction to threats; emotions get surprised, her body becomes numb to affection, and her emotions become motionless, trapped in a cycle of fear and anxiety. In this emotional numbness, the vibrant colors of life fade away, and connections with others begin to deteriorate, leaving behind a hollow shell of our former selves. It is crucial, then, to recognize the precarious line between healthy assertiveness and the debilitating need to control every aspect of our lives, as this distinction can significantly impact our emotional well-being and relationships.
As a single mom with passed trauma from the destruction of my marriage, my need for control overpowered my self-control, often leading me down a path fraught with anxiety and frustration. I was the only one my girls had to survive on; I was the sole pillar of strength, the one who had to shoulder the weight of not just my grief but the heavy burden of cleaning up the mess he had left behind. Each day felt like a monumental struggle, as I navigated the chaos of parenting alone, and I was the only one fervently praying to God, pleading for guidance and for my children to be saved from the wreckage of our past. It’s been three years now, and I recently experienced a profound awakening, an epiphany that made me realize the importance of taking a step back and truly letting go of my incessant need for control. I have to surrender to God the things that I cannot control, allowing Him to work in my life instead of trying to force my own agenda. This journey has been exhausting, and I recognized that I had become misaligned with Him without even knowing it, caught up in the whirlwind of responsibilities and expectations. This scripture from Proverbs 31 resonates with me deeply, both inspiring and challenging me; I want to embody the strength and grace of that woman, but I also understand that I cannot neglect my own needs—emotionally, mentally, and spiritually—in the process. I need God to be at the center of my life, leading my steps and guiding me on the path He has planned for me, whether it means traveling this road alone or finding someone who chooses to share this life with me. In my quest for perfection, I had lost my footing, teetering on the edge of doubt without totally crushing my faith. My prayers still remained steadfast, yet they seemed stagnant, as I lost myself in the pursuit of perfection. I was trying so hard to be the perfect mom, the perfect housekeeper, and the perfect friend, but in reality, I was neglecting the very essence of who I was meant to be. It became clear that I needed to prioritize my well-being and rediscover my own identity amidst the demands of life, allowing space for imperfection and grace. I believe that God is preparing me for something great, He is preparing for the next chapter of my life. Pruning my garden to help it grow more colorful flowers.
He’s calling me back into the path I was called to follow in the first place, a journey that holds immense promise and potential. He is teaching me that pain is preparation, not punishment, but rather an essential part of growth and transformation. It is a tool He uses to break the things that hold you back, whether they are fears, doubts, or past traumas, all in an effort to shape my character and build a powerful new story out of the dark cloud hovering over my head. Each moment of struggle is an opportunity for enlightenment, each tear a lesson in resilience. I got through these 3 years the best way I knew how, navigating the storms with faith as my anchor, but now it’s time to trust that God has me embraced in His shield of protection, guiding me towards a brighter future filled with hope, purpose, and fulfillment. With each step forward, I feel renewed strength and clarity, as I begin to embrace the divine plan that is unfolding before me.
In the past recent days, I have made a monumental mistake—a mistake that is going to change my life profoundly and potentially the lives of those around me. I let someone go out of fear, an impulsive mistake that cannot be taken back, and the weight of that realization sits heavily on my conscience. In that moment of panic and uncertainty, I lost sight of what was truly important. Although I cannot take on the entire cause of this destruction, I still take full responsibility for my own actions. My decisions not only affected me but also impacted two lives because I didn’t take the time to think carefully before I spoke. I allowed anger to take over, controlled by fear, and in doing so, I blinded myself to the emotions of others involved. It is a painful lesson to learn that rash decisions can lead to lasting consequences, and now I must navigate the fallout of my choices. Like I said before, relationships are hard. Especially blending 2 already made families together. I am adapting to the fact that there is no reconciliation with this relationship. Although my heart is heavy, I am leaning on my Faith to understand.
I have profound conviction during this time. Conviction of going against God’s commandments of love, allowing my fears and insecurities to cloud my judgment, and in doing so, I had forgotten the invaluable lessons he has taught me about love and relationships. The fear I experienced overpowered the real, true love I have for him, taking away my clarity and preventing me from seeing the beauty in our connection. He is a man with flaws and faults of his own, yet he remains a good man, possessing a big heart that has always been open and generous, despite the struggles we faced together. I realize now that love is not just about the absence of conflict, but about rising above our imperfections and embracing each other’s true selves with compassion and understanding. In my quest for perfection, I lost sight of the essence of what it means to truly love someone and to accept them wholly, with all their ups and downs. The battle is of my own, I will walk through it, accept that I have lost him indefinitely.
In this time, I am profoundly grateful that God didn’t forget about me, even in the moments of doubt and uncertainty. He loves me unconditionally, guiding me through the trials I face, and I believe that He will refine me in ways that will ultimately shape me into a better person and strengthen my weaknesses. Each challenge becomes an opportunity for growth, as I learn to embrace patience, resilience, and trust in His plan. I firmly know that I will emerge as a whole new person, enriched by the experiences and lessons He has in store for me, more aligned with my purpose, and ready for whatever He has next for me on this journey of life.
Thank you, Lord, for teaching me and guiding my steps every day. I am truly thankful for your faithfulness, which shines like a beacon in my life, reassuring me during moments of doubt and struggle. I am grateful for the profound love you have for me, a love that envelops me in comfort and strength, and for waking me up from the spell of the enemy, who tries to distract and causes me to stray from your path. My faults and mistakes will never be undone, but I acknowledge them as part of my journey. From here, I humbly ask that you fill me with your spirit of peace, allowing me to find solace even in chaos. Fill me with the wisdom to understand the lessons life has to offer and guide me to walk this journey with you fully, embracing the growth and transformation that comes with each experience, and helping me to be a source of light and love for others as you have been for me.
In the name of Jesus name, Amen.
Walk By Faith Not By sight 